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Old 05-24-2012, 05:53 PM   #1
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Fayetteville, GA, USA
Posts: 3,017
Talking Help! My computer is hosing up the internet!!

This is fun.

I'm at work and my cell phone rings. Some Indian guy in a call center (lots of people talking in the background) asks me if I am the owner of the number he has called.

"Yes"

"Sir, I'm calling from (garbled) to tell you your computer has been infected with a virus and is (garbled, something about spewing trash all over the internet) and you must log into our website so we can repair it remotely."

"That's terrible!"

"Yes, we have (lots of garbled stuff)...(for quite a while)

So I decide to play this guy..."I have 63 computers in my system. I will need the IP address to know where the problem is."

"For security reasons I can not divulge the IP address over the phone, you must log into our web site (garbled techo crap we all know is b*llsh!t.)"

"Well then, my computers are on 4 ISP's. Can you tell me which ISP is involved?"

"Again, sir, for security reasons, (blah blah, garbled crap about all my systems are at risk) and are currently creating world wide havoc and must be stopped right now."

So I get tired of this guy and his bad English and his script, which I admit seems to cover all the objections. So my final shot is "Listen (expletives not fit for ORR.net) me and my college buddies dropped out of Harvard back in the 70's, went to work for the Army on the DARPANET project, and then we built the internet. You want to know who invented the internet!?"

"Yes sir, but this virus..."

"ME, that's who." and then I hung up on him.

I bet his stupid script did not have an answer for that one.

I didn't really invent the internet. (But then my computer doesn't have a virus, either) But I sure as heck BUILT huge sections of it!!

I guess they used an Indian guy in a call center with bad English so it would seem more real, like HP or Dell customer support!
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2007 F-150 SuperCab - 2009 Rockwood 8280SS
Lot's of mostly Kenwood stuff

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